


867-5309 (Interdimensional Charges May Apply)

by AnonManon



Series: Tales From the Etherian Cosmos [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Dialogue-Only, Discussion of Affairs, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sex, Innuendo, Inspired by a scene in Angels in America, Multi, Sex Work, discussion of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:41:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29415027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonManon/pseuds/AnonManon
Summary: "She was short in stature, with a bust figure. Right away, Adora noted her fishnet tights and crop top. Her white hair contrasted with her dark violet skin."Her name was Calla and, despite what she believed at the moment, she had no idea what she was getting into.This is what happened the day after Calla spent the night with the Vagabond of the Etherian Cosmos.
Relationships: Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Calla (AVEC) & Original Character
Series: Tales From the Etherian Cosmos [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160879
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	867-5309 (Interdimensional Charges May Apply)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EtherianFrigatebird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtherianFrigatebird/gifts), [Say_Anything](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Say_Anything/gifts).
  * Inspired by [ADORA: Vagabond of the Etherian Cosmos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22977853) by [EtherianFrigatebird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtherianFrigatebird/pseuds/EtherianFrigatebird), [Say_Anything](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Say_Anything/pseuds/Say_Anything). 



> Thanks to EtherianFrigatebird for giving me Calla’s name!

**“** _ **Chér**_ ** _i!_ I was wondering when you’d get here. You almost missed breakfast.”** ********

“Yeah, sorry, just… I’m not really hungry.”

 **“I assume ‘Blondie Con Carne’ was quite filling then. How was your night?”** ********

“Bad!”

 **“…”** ********

“…”

 **“…so, you’re just gonna leave it at that?”** ****

“Yeah.”

**“Honey, you look like you just ran a 10K on an empty stomach. This is a story that very much needs to be told.”**

“Nope. This is the one I take to the grave, I am… I am very, very sure of that. So, if we could literally talk about anything else…”

**“If you insist. What’ll it be today? Harmless fluff or the juiciest pickings from the rumor mill?”**

“You know what? At this point, fuck it. I’m down for some good gossip.”

**“Daring today, aren’t we? Word is, we’ve got trouble in paradise.”**

“That’s not completely unusual.”

 **“Usually, that would be true. But this little scandal goes directly to the top.** **If I let something slip to the wrong pair of ears, He-Man might come down on that fancy unicorn of his and execute me himself.”**

“He-Man? Why would he– Wait, did _He-Man_ have an affair?”

 **“You’re a bit off the mark, love. Tell me; does the King** **_really_ ** **seem like the type to chase after any old person who so much as looks his way?”**

“Okay, he’s mister Goody Two Shoes in public, but in private…”

**“He’s the same. Or, so my source tells me. Bow’s heart is as good as gold, his convictions are solid as a rock. Even if I despise the inherent nepotism of monarchies–”**

“Fuck ‘em.”

**“Indeed – I still admire his character.”**

“Okay, your little celebrity crush aside, what does this have to do with the affair?”

**“Well, if pretty boy’s out of the picture, who’s that leave?”**

“ _THE QUEEN?!_ ”

**“Volume! You almost took my eardrums out.”**

“Sorry. The _Queen?!_ ”

**“Mm-hm.”**

“Had a fucking _affair_?!”

**“Mmm-hm.”**

“But she’s not– She wouldn’t!”

**“Well, when you put your little celebrity crush aside–”**

“All I mean is, I don’t think she’s that kinda person.”

**“Well, nobody’s perfect, love.”**

“Did you even see their wedding? Every single paper had that picture of those two as their page one headline, and Glimmer looked like she was having the happiest day of her life.”

**“Eyes wander, dear. We both know that better than anyone.”**

“Okay, well, what about the kid?”

**“Kids. Sources say there’s another one on the way.”**

”Even more reason not to do it! I mean, if you’re a mom, they’re always gonna be in the back of your head! You always want what’s best for them. You can’t just, I dunno, risk traumatizing them because you wanna get laid.”

 **“Risk traumatizing–! If there’s a single person who ruled Bright Moon – a single person, in** **general,** **that _wasn’t_ fucked up in some fashion, I’ve yet to meet them.”**

“Alright, point taken. How do you even know there’s an affair going on, anyway? Something like that has to be buried deeper than the Salineas Trench.”

**“I have a little birdie who tends to the flowers in the Royal Garden. Do you know what they saw the other day when they were doing their rounds? Bright Moon Violets. In full bloom!”**

“Shut up!”

**“I’ve got pictures to prove it.”**

“Holy _shit_ , that's a lot of ‘em. Wait, who’s that? By the bushes?”

**“That, Calla, dearest, is our prime suspect. Word is, she was an honored guest of Casa Del Bright Moon until she ran straight out of the Queen’s chambers. She practically vanished into the wind after that.”**

“Well, I guess she got cold…”

**”Something on your mind?”**

”I’ve seen that jacket before.”

**“Where? Styles Weekly?”**

“No, when I picked up the– Oh, my god. Oh, my _god_.”

 **“Spit it out,** **_mon amí_** **, your hair’s getting whiter by the second.”**

“I think I fucked our mystery girl.”

**“…Darling, you know I trust you more than any old two-bit street rat, but that’s a bold claim to make. I’m gonna need some proof.”**

“Okay. Okay. Okay. So, uh… The blonde walks up, she’s- She’s drunk, but not drunk-drunk. And I give her the– The “Hey, baby…’”

**“‘Looking for a good time?’ Cliché but straightforward. Continue.”**

“And she tells me she doesn’t have any money and I tell her, ‘you look lonesome. Ten minutes, on me’. So, she stumbles over to me, and she’s wearing the same jacket as the picture, I swear to god! Here, I can prove it. I’ve got the footage from last night.”

**“Where in the hell did you get a tracker pad from?”**

“It’s Ryan’s.”

**“You’re on a first-name basis with the owner of the seediest bar in town?”**

”It’s a long story. The point is, there’s me. And there’s her, coming into frame, and…”

**“Oh, my.”**

“Yeah.”

**“Well, what does that really prove? Maybe your vagabond and our homewrecker have a similar fashion sense.”**

“Oh, no. No, no, no, it’s definitely her. About five minutes after we get back to my place–”

**“Shit always goes down at the halfway mark.”**

“She starts talking. And I’m not really paying attention, but she– She said ‘Glimmer’.”

**“She did not!”**

“She did! Scout’s honor!”

**“You were never even a scout. So, you really didn’t think ‘this is strange’? Not even a little bit?”**

“I don’t know! She was just– I thought she had, like, a crush, or something and it slipped out!”

**“Calla, there’s a difference between idolizing a celebrity and screaming their name while you’re getting screwed. Anyone with half a brain could’ve told you that.**

“Are you gonna keep taking the piss out of me, or do you want to hear the story? Okay, so after… that, she starts crying and apologizing, and I’m like, ‘you can call me anything you want’.”

 **“** ** _Why would you say that._ ** **”**

“I don’t know! I’ve never had a client cry on me before! What would you have done?”

 **“Offered them a glass of water, contacted a mental health professional, anything but** **_that!_ ** **”**

"Well, unfortunately, that’s what I said! And then out of the blue, she’s hugging me. She starts fucking outright _sobbing_ and she's, like, babbling about how she doesn’t belong here, she just wants to go back home, and there’s– there’s snot just dripping down my shoulder, and I can’t. Deal with it. Shit.”

**“…Well, I’m convinced. You slept with the Queen’s one night stand. You know, you’re probably going to get a visit from a very pissed off He-Man, very soon.”**

“And that’s not even the craziest part!”

**“Tu plaisantes...”**

“ _Non._ Like I said, she’s wailing and shit, and then she just… She spasms. Like she got shocked, or something. And she gets off me, she’s panicking, she starts getting dressed, she’s rambling about how ‘it’s never happened this fast before’, so I’m gonna say ‘it’s nothing to be ashamed of’ when she starts…”

**“Starts…? She starts, what? Waving her hand in front of her face? You’ve got an extensive vocabulary, use it!”**

“She starts glitching!”

**“…glitching?”**

“Glitching! There were these– These little black… boxes, and they were, like, pulling her away, sort of. And there were these- these cracks of light that were cutting through her skin, kind of, I don’t even know what it was.”

**“Darling, take this from someone who has an extensive background researching First One's Technology: People don’t glitch.”**

“Then why do I have a video of her doing it?”

_[*Play*]_

_[“What the fuck is going on?!”]_

**_[“Agh! I… I can’t stay! This dimension doesn’t want me here!”]_ **

_[“What do you mean, ‘this dimension?’ There’s more than one?!”]_

**_[“Please! I don’t have much time! Tell Bow… Tell Glimmer… I’m sorry!”]_ **

**_[*Zap*]_ **

_[“…What the fuck? What the fuck?! WHAT THE FU-”]_

**“…Piece of advice,** **_chéri_** **. Lead with that next time.”**

“You would’ve thought it was fake!”

**“Yes, I would have. I would’ve happily remained in blissful ignorance for the rest of my life.”**

“Well, can you blame a girl for wishing she could live like that, too?”

**“I mean… you still can. My wine cellar’s fully stocked and you’re off work today, unless I’m mistaken.”**

“…If I came over to your place around five, would that work?”

**“Any time that works for you works for me, darling. But first, a toast — to heavy intoxication, and the sweet, sweet oblivion that comes with it.”**

“Long may she reign.”

_[Clink]_

_[Drink]  
_

**_[End]_ **

**Author's Note:**

> "Chéri" - "Darling"  
> "mon amí" - "my friend"  
> "Tu plaisantes..." - "You're kidding me..."


End file.
